I’ve been married for just over a week now. I couldn’t be happier!
Growing up, I never saw marriage as holding much appeal, no need to get a piece of paper to prove something you already know, and so on and so forth. However, being kept apart from my wife for almost a year whilst waiting for my US visa to be processed has completely changed my attitude. I know that when I married last week, it wasn’t just to fulfil the requirements of my visa; it was much more profound and felt completely right.
Our wedding was the opposite of big and showy, it didn’t have any lavish preparations, but felt perfect nonetheless. We married in the City Clerk’s office in Manhattan (the US equivalent of a registry office). It probably isn’t what many people would consider their ideal wedding venue, but my wife and I loved it all the same; and in many ways it was exactly the wedding we wanted.
It’s hard to pin exactly why marrying in a City Clerk’s office was so right, but there are a few things that come to mind that contributed to it. I’ll list them below:
1. You’re around lots of other marrying couples
There was definitely an atmosphere in the building, which came from all of the couples, of all shapes and sizes, that had also chosen this as their wedding day. The soon to be husbands and wives, and their family members, were understandably incredibly happy. We didn’t speak to any of the other couples, but I don’t think it’s too pretentious to say that there was definitely a collective shared happiness in the building.
2. Despite all of the people, it’s intimate
The only witnesses in our ceremony were my mother in law, and my wife’s friend, who took charge of photographs. It felt great that the moment we became married was shared by just a few people. It did make for a bit of an odd question when the marriage official asked if anyone objected to the marriage though, I’ll say that.
3. It’s an incredible building in New York City
The City Clerk’s office was much more than some grimy old council building that I imagine acts as the default wedding venue of most places in the world. This was impressive; stone architecture, marble floors (if I remember correctly) and heavy wooden doors. It looked the part, made us happy, and for about a thousandth of the cost of a typical New York venue.
The actual ceremony itself was short, sweet and ended with us both married and optimistic and hopeful for the future. Afterwards, we sat outside, where a group of schoolgirls cheered a gay couple who just got married. Our friend informed them very loudly that we had also got married too, which prompted a less enthusiastic cheer, but the attention soon went back to the gay couple. Never mind, it didn’t dampen our spirits, and with gay marriage being such a recent thing I guess it deserves more prompts of cheering. Still, my wife and I were forced apart for eleven months; but then that isn’t quite so visually obvious when you see us.
After the wedding, our friend had to get back to work, and my wife, mother in law and I all went to Little Italy and had a big meal, courtesy of my mother in law. My mother in law said that she had gained a son, and seemed ecstatic, which of course made me feel delighted to be part of the family.
Later, we went back home and watched a Russian film from my mother in law’s recommendation. It was an unconventional end to a unique wedding day; but I wouldn’t swap it for anything. I haven’t even mentioned that it was an unseasonably warm December 11th.
Unfortunately, there were very few travails or missteps on the day to note down here. My family weren’t there, but I had been used to that eventuality for a long time; also our wedding rings, being Russian/rolling/trinity bands were a bit difficult to put on, but apart from that, literally nothing went wrong. Perfect.